July 7, 2005

• So did I tell you all about traffic court?  No, of course I didn't... because I never post anymore

  
  

  23-June has come and gone.  That was my traffic court date.  I'm going to give you the long version.

  
  

  To recap: on 3-May (which was a Tuesday might I add... ktshadow noticed and I didn't, how can that be?) anwyay, where was I?  On 3-May you may recall my telling that I received a speeding ticket that morning, yes?  I was apparently clocked going 67 in a 50.  Now, let me remind you, mere moments before being flagged down a minivan was passing me as though I was standing still and I absolutely knew I was speeding so out of curiosity I looked at my speedometer.  It said 59.  When I looked up, there was Our Friend Officer H. (OFOH) standing on the corner of 7100 and Hoose Rd ,wearing his attractive day-glo vest, waving his arms in the air.  I pull over, said diaper wagon does not.  I get ticketed.

  
  

  Of course, I don't say anything to OFOH because I've been raised by my parents to respect au-tho-ri-tie.  Plus, I didn't want to piss him off and make me late for work.  So I took the ticket and decided when my court date rolled around I would go in and state my case, hoping to get a lenient judge that would have some mercy on me.

  
  

  Fast forward to 23-June (thankfully NOT a Tuesday).  I'm sitting in Courtroom 1a waiting to see if the nice judge everyone has described to me is going to be the one residing over my case.  As luck would have it, the nice man in his early 50's with the salt and pepper hair is in courtroom 1b.  Damn.  In walks my judge, a woman.  Being a woman myself I can say this with complete confidence: "shitfuck I'm screwed."  Woman next to me also starts looking particularly nervous.

  
  

  As Mrs Honerable Judge Hard Ass starts going through the docket she is being very strict with her rulings.  Very very few people get reduced charges, more than one person receives a lecture, one man was even lead out of the courtroom in handcuffs.  Now we come to OFOH and his string of victims, all of whom were caught at the exact same spot I was.  As my name is called MHJHA asks for my plea: guilty.  She then asks if I have anything to say in explanation of myself: I tell her my story.

  
  

  MHJHA looks to OFOH and asks, "Is there a possibility that your device picked up the minivan and not Ms. HotChip's vehicle?"  Since I have a big fat angel sitting on my shoulder, OFOH stumbles with his answer!  He says, "Uhh, well... no.  No, I don't know what minivan she's talking about.  This was a Jeep Liberty and a minivan is distinctly different from a Liberty.  They look nothing alike."  All the while I'm thinking, DUH you don't remember the minivan!  Dude, I'm the one you pulled over!  Had you not written the make and model of my vehicle on the damn ticket I bet you wouldn't remember what kind of car I drove either!  But alas, I stand there calmly awaiting MHJHA's reply.  I am not disappointed: "I appreciate your honesty Ms. HotChips.  In light of the situation I am going to reduce your charge to Failure to Obey a Highway Sign.  This charge carries a $50 fine.  You may go."

  
  

  One lady from the courtroom said it was because I look so nice.  Another said it was probably because I was knitting while I waited patiently for my turn.  Personally I think it is because I was telling the truth!  I didn't try to spin some unbelievable tale, I adressed both OFOH and MHJHA respectfully and was prepared to have to accept the ticket as written.

  
  

  No, I didn't get off scott free, but I shouldn't have... because I was speeding.  I'm still happy though.  Woot!

  • 11:53 am
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