Sometimes the way her brain works amazes (and tickles) me.  For example, we were out and about a couple of weeks ago and she sees a police cruiser with the lights going pulled up behind another vehicle:

Itty: Uh-Oh!  Someone's been speeding.  They're gonna get a speeding ticket!

Me: Oh babe, they were in an accident and the police man is there helping them.

Itty: An accident!!??

Me: Yep

Itty: That is disgusting!  You mean they pee-peed in their car???

On another occasion we were out and she noticed one of those "Smart Cars."

Itty: Daddy look!  It's a baby car on the street... but there's a daddy in it.  That's not nice of him to take his little girl's car to work.

After talking to one of her teachers about the fact that we'll ultimately be moving to Colorado the teacher told her, "Colorado is a little slice of heaven."  Prompting the following conversation:

Itty: Momma, when are we going to Colorado?

Me: I'm not exactly sure baby, but hopefully soon.

Itty: *visibly upset*

Me: What's wrong?

Itty: When we move into our new house in Colorado are we going to die?

Me: WHAT?!  No, no, no baby, why in the world would you think that?

Itty: Because teacher said that Colorado is a little slice of heaven.  I'm not ready to die and go to heaven with Jesus yet Mommy... I want to go to Kindergarten first!

So Thursday's are never normal for me... in any way... though most of the time I work from home.  I usually get so wrapped up in work that it honestly never even occured to me to post to Xanga.  I guess now that I'm a bit disenchanted by the whole workplace thing that my mind isn't focused on my job 100% of the time.  So here I am.

My house, it's not MY house anymore.  We've had painters come in and make everything neutral.  It's amazing how big of a difference that makes.  My dining room used to be blood red above the chair rail and a creamy gold below.  Now the creamy gold has stayed and the top is no longer red... it's a soft pale yellow.  My antique dishes have all been packed up into storage and the booster seat has been packed away too.

The nursery isn't colorful and cheery anymore, it's white.  It doesn't really strike one as an all white room though because of all the colorful baskets on the shelves.  It's still not the same though and just feels like some generic nursery in pottery barn kids.

The only room we didn't take the fun out of was Itty No. 1's.  Her room is "Pineapple Fizz" with a horizontal set of stripes going around the room (two fucia and one "Tigger" orange).  Painting on those mommy wording stripes was painstaking and tedious.  They are, however, perfectly level, perfectly spaced, and perfectly crisp without even a hint of bleedthrough.  That is also the reason they haven't painted over them.  To get a perfect stripe, you have to tape off, paint your base color, let it dry, paint the first coat of your accent color, let it dry and paint a second coat of your accent color.  That's an additional 3 coats of paint... that leaves a tangible edge to the absolutely perfect stripes that you have spent hours with a level and painters tape to get just right.

I do have to admit, it kills me to do all this work for someone else.  We've even decided to invest in getting new siding to try and spur along the whole thing.  I can't believe I'm here dropping another $8K into this house just to throw it on the market in 2 weeks.  Not to mention all the other work we put into it.  We redid our kitchen, replaced the windows, leveled and completely redid the front yard and replaced the entryway door and garage door all just a year and a half ago.

I told Husband, that when we move, we're doing all that mommy word right up front because I'M going to fully enjoy my house before we ever decide to move again (though, I hate moving and never want to move again... but that's another rant).

So, IT is on the ball again and Xanga is blocked from work.  I wrote this on the 26th.  Things have moved along since on several fronts, but I need to keep things in order for my own peace of mind:

It’s been a bit of a sore subject for me for the past few months. Husband returned from his TDY and just decided that it was time for us to make the move. We’d tossed the idea around for years, mentioning it here and there, but never with any timeline in mind. It was a difficult pill for me to swallow at first because I don’t feel as though I’m ready. The background:

I’ve always told Husband that I support him 100% in whatever decisions he makes in regards to his career. Whatever he needed to do I would back him up. We moved to his area because he wanted to work for his current employer… it was his life-long dream. Ups & downs, the good and the bad, we’ve survived it all. Now he’s decided that he’s over it. He’s not happy there anymore and he’s not happy here anymore.

In the meantime I’ve worked very hard in my own career. When I was (unwillingly) put back into HR I made the decision to run with it. I took the bull by the horns and embraced my role. I educated myself and even gained my certification… which is not an easy task in and of itself. As I mentioned, I’m now a member of Sr. Management at my job where what I think actually matters. I have a very accommodating employer that allows me to work remotely and gives me the freedom to do what I feel is best for the company with very few questions asked. This year I initiated 5 new programs/projects, 3 of which have been successfully implemented to date, but I’m still working on rolling out the other 2.

You know when you’ve been at a job and you know in your heart when it is time to move on? When you know that you’ve brought everything you can to the position and the challenges just aren’t challenging anymore? Well, I’m not there yet at this job. I’m not “done” here.

I feel as though Husband has made this decision on behalf of our entire family without taking my feelings or thoughts into consideration. I’ve told him this, and he says he understands where I’m coming from but his actions tell a different story; he keeps on with the planning and the preparations for moving.

That’s not my only concern though… the job market out in Colorado isn’t great. I have family there so I hear about it every day from family members that are experiencing the difficulties. Husband seems to think we’ll go out there and find jobs very quickly just because he sees ads posted. He thinks the only reason we haven’t gotten jobs already is because we’re not physically there. The idea of moving my family right now to an area where we have no home and no jobs is terrifying to me. What if it takes us a year to find a job, like it has my brother?

Anyway, this weekend we were visited by two real estate agents who did walk-throughs on the house. The first went very well and I felt comfortable with her… she seemed very down to earth and easy to work with. The second didn’t go so well; she was very pushy and I walked away from that meeting feeling ganged up on and pressured to sell as quickly as possible.

After she left we were all playing outside and Neighbor Lady comes running over and says to me, “Are you moving? What happened? When? Where are you going?” I don’t even remember what question she asked that struck a chord, but something she asked caused my eyes to well up and I had an extremely difficult time containing my tears. Shortly after Husband took the Itty’s in the house for bath time and I sat out side with NL and basically poured out my soul to her. Apparently Husband didn’t take too kindly to this because I got the silent treatment for the rest of the evening.

Then this morning I asked him when he’s supposed to start at the new job and received a one word answer. I asked him, “So are you giving me the silent treatment? Is that what this is?” He responded, “No, I’m talking to You,” and left for work without another word.

On my way to work I had my Come to Jesus moment. Husband and I have been together for 12 years this year. I have been with my current job 2 years this year. This Colorado issue is quite honestly trying to ruin my marriage. Am I willing to give that up for a job? Absolutely not. Do I see myself celebrating a 50^th wedding anniversary? Of course! Do I see myself at this job until retirement? Most probably not.

I’ve decided to just roll with it. Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe this is supposed to be happening right now and I need to just stop fighting it. MAYBE Husband will find a really good job out in CO and we can afford to have Itty No. 3. All I really know is… I’m not going to let this make me miserable any longer. I love my job, I love my boss, I love my company… but I love Husband more.

So... as we all know the economy isn't so hot right now.  The job market is overwhelmed with applicants and lots of them are extremely high quality making it very much a "buyers/employers market."  I mean, we placed an add back in January during the MegaJobs weekend and just finished up interviewing the Tuesday before last (I hate Tuesdays).  Let me expand on that just a smidgen... looking back at my calendar we interviewed 67 people in 33 business days.  Keep in mind, I work from a different office on Thursday's so I'm not here.  I am going to entertain myself with some of my notes.  I'm sure anyone reading this won't find it half as entertaining as I do, but I don't write for you so get over it 

Day 1: First Interview, 9:00 a.m.

• Appearance: VERY unprofessional, tight/ill fitting clothes - skirt so tight around @$$ that the slit in the back is hanging on for dear life not to just let loose the rest of the way up... NOT in a good way
• Considers herself a "clean-up" lady... going in behind everyone else and fixing their mistakes = interpretation, okay with being an office b!tc#
• Once called a customer a jack-ass = interpretation, she'd never get along with loan officers
• Loves working with people and interacting directly with as many people as possible = interpretation, social butterfly - would probably spend the first 45 minutes of each day chatting it up
• Looking for job security = interpretation, she's unhappy at her current job and thinks that's a safe answer... we're a mortgage company
• Not recommended for hire

Day 16: First Interview, 9:30 a.m.

• Appearance: Arms crossed and scowling when I walked in - she arrived 35 minutes early for her interview and I made her wait 40 before I went in.  I hate it when people are obscenly early to an interview. 
• Very difficult to understand, she's missing 3-of her front teeth (2 on top, 1 on bottom)
• Tide-Pen commercial... talking stain... she has a talking hairy mole on her chin... very distracting
• Currently a receptionist, hasn't done this particular job for 7 years
• Works well with difficult sales workers
• Will find a way to get the job done
• Recommendation; She has the right attitude... Rate her a B+, maybe if she gets the job she can get some teeth, we have great insurance

Day 16: Third Interview, 3:00 p.m.

• Appearance: Very clean, crisp, professional (reminds me just a tad of Grandma)
• Wants to get back into the industry
• Talker - a lot of personal stories
• Willing and able to do any job we ask her to do, other than underwrite
• Keeps TALKING!
• Considers herself knowledgable, also sociable and nice (won't let me get a word in)
• Pointless banter
• More personal stores
• Recommendation; Length of interview?  1 HOUR 45 MINUTES!  Number of words out of my mouth?  23... Number of times she interrupted me so she could keep talking?  4... NO WAY should we even consider hiring this woman, none of us would ever get any work done.

Day 27: Second Interview, 2:00 p.m.

• Appearance: West Virginia
• Didn't realize she was applying for this position, thought it was a receptionist position (didn't she read the ad?)
• Average number of loans in pipeline each month?  She actually answered: "6+6+3+2+2+1... about 11 or so"
• Talks a lot about God... but then says she's been known to have personnel issues; i.e. "I pray a lot and try to keep calm... you know, just let it go and let Him take care of it," then later, "Well I know I've had attitude issues and I have a short temper, but I'm working on that.  I do know I tend to get real bitchy sometimes."
• Not recommended for hire

Day 33: Very Last Interview, Thank You Baby Jesus, 3:30 p.m.

• Appearance: Very very sharp.  Nice suit, pressed shirt, coordinating tie... his wife dressed him
• Extremely nervous, keeps fidgeting and shifting his focus around the room
• Worked his way up from entry level to current level over several years, could pitch in anywhere along the process to help where needed
• Asked for a situation where he turned a negative situation to a positive and he totally threw LO under bus w/borrower.  Saved the loan though.
• Seems to think very highly of himself
• Told him it was okay if he relaxed a bit... he kicked back and threw his feet up on the conference table
• "Big on ethics and overall fairness"
• Personal thoughts: My gut is telling me to stay away... this candidate = personnel conflicts
• (not my note... but hiring manager offered him a job anyway... he flaked out and never returned the calls)

Actually, that's a big fat lie.  He was here bright an early but he's too busy doing other things to worry about the HR Lady violating company policy.  I should make them unblock Xanga for me permanently... I think I'd be able to remain more sane if I were to be able to let it out.

So anyway, still at the mortgage company... for now.  Husband has decided that it's time we move back to Colorado.  He got shipped out to Afghanistan for 3-months late last year and after he returned he had made up his mind.  He's done with it here in NoVA.  He's quitting his current "I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you" job and taking a different one with a different government agency.  It's kinda nice for him because he had two divisions within the same agency fighting over him trying to woo him in.  He took the lesser paying job for more future possibilities/mobility (including the possibility of relocating to CO) and flat out interest.

What it means for us right now though... no trying for Itty No. 3.  I have baby fever again so that's depressing.  Here I am in my 30's and I don't feel as though I'm where I wanted to be.  Of course, on the flip side of that, I never could have imagined my life as it is today; maybe I didn't have enough confidence in myself when I was younger.

I will say that over the last 3 years my career totally did a 180 and now I'm a member of Sr. Management at a company where my opinion actually counts for something.  After all those years of working with what's-his-name that took some getting used to for me.  I will say though, the path I have taken to get to where I am has had everything to do with my success.  It's also made me an a-typical HR lady... because I know what it's like to be on the other end when the nasty wench(es) aren't handling things the way they're supposed to.

There's really a ton of things racing through my mind right now... but I've been blocked for so long I don't even know where to begin.  I think I'll have to try and ease back into it (until I get discovered anyway).

So, I think my IT department must have slept in this morning because usually Xanga is a blocked site that I can't get to.  I was talking to Chun this morning and just happened to give it a try again and ta-da... here I am!

Holy cow... where do I even begin?  My last real post was June of 2007 where I stated I was updating my resume, well, I started a new job 3 weeks later.  I've been here since the end of June of last year and boy howdy is this a handful.  Way back when, when I was 19 or so, I thought I wanted to be in Human Resources when I grew up.  I actually had a job recruiting for a large law firm in DC and lasted all of a year before deciding that the politics involved in HR was way more than I was willing to handle.  I made the decision to change my focus to accounting.  That's when I got the job working for the company where I met Chun nearly 8 years ago.  I stuck it out there for 5-1/2 years before moving onto a position that offered more growth and responsibilities.  While in that position, the company I worked for make some major internal changes and I was volunteered to be in HR all over again... when they told me, I cried.  I didn't want anything to do with HR, but I grabbed my deck of cards and my straw and sucked it up and dealt.  Low and behold, I'm actually kinda good at HR, not to mention the fact that in the right environment, I even enjoy it.

So, last June I took the opportunity to join a mortgage company as the HR Manager.  I've been here nearly 9 months now and we've had 3 lay-offs that I've had to carry out and now that the industry is showing some signs of rebound we've had a major influx of hiring.  I've nearly caught up with 6 months of work that wasn't completed prior to my arrival and it looks as though I may have found myself a pretty good gig.  It's stressful and there is a ton of responsibility involved, but I seem to be handling it well, and my CFO is great about letting me know how much faith she has in me to get all this stuff corrected and taken care of.  Whodathunkit?

Family is fantastic.  Itty Bitty isn't so Itty Bitty anymore.  She's 3-1/2 and smart as a whip.  She's in preschool with a bunch of 4-year olds and is holding her own quite well.  She's sensitive, so she doesn't like it when the boys are mean, but I explained to her that sometimes, boys are mean because they like you.  Just imagine trying to have THAT conversation with a 3-1/2 year old!

We've taken to calling Allison Uh-oh and/or Patience.  Uh-oh is her favorite saying... and she has the patience of a badger.  She just turned 1 in January... I can hardly believe it.  She's been walking since about Christmas time and she's just her own little person, whom I happen to adore.

Husband is looking for a job that will relocate us closer to my family, and I couldn't be more supportive!  I'm thrilled, but there's no telling how soon (or not) that could happen.

Crud, just as I get going my second interview on the day arrives.  Must run.  I'll try back later if they haven't reinitiated our filter

Life doesn't seem to slow down long enough for me to do much for myself anymore.  I miss my Xanga.  I miss reading what's going on in your lives and I miss expressing what's going on in mine.  I hardly have time for a social life any more and my friends have slowly stopped calling to check up on me because I never call them... and who can blame them?  Someone I consider a very good friend is pregnant and expecting.  I talked to her last back in February I guess... she was supposed to be finding out if her baby was a boy or a girl back then.  I think now, she's nearing the end of her term!  I never did talk to her again to find out if it was a boy or girl, though I think about her often during the day.  Not to mention my cousin has moved to town... they're pregnant as well with their third child (first boy).  We went to their house for Memorial Day, but hadn't seen them since early March... and they only live 20 minutes away!

Things with work have never truly gotten back on track.  I keep getting responsibilities thrown my way and it's a steady stream of critical projects.  First it was evaluations, then it was salary increases and bonuses, then it was open enrollment and renegotiating all of our insurance plans.  Now, I've been named the Chair of the move committee because our office is moving in 6 weeks (this morning I decided on flooring and paint).  So, while coordinating the entire office move and getting quotes, deciding on interiors and managing all procurement activities, I'm still expected to do my every-day job and be here to deal with all my HR related issues.  Not to mention the fact that the company is currently going through a re-fi and who has just been put in the lead of preparing the due diligence binders?  Yours truly.  I have a white board in my office that is literally FILLED with to-do items: half of which are starred as priorities.

I'm not really complaining about it - I'm just being brutally honest.  As much as I love my job, I don't know if I can stick it out.  It's taking a toll on me mentally and physically and damn near financially.  My mind races constantly about everything I have going on at once.  I've gotten to the point that I have trouble sleeping at night because I can't slow my thought process down enough to relax.  I'm constantly in fear that I'm going to miss doing an important task and go through the activities for the next day even in my sleep.  I'm physically exhausted when I go home anymore from stress and that's simply compounded by the lack of sleep.  Then, I finally took the time to go home and visit my folks with the girls... and while out there my company maxed out my credit card booking travel to it.  It took an entire afternoon to get straightened out.

Of all the employees in this company, only 4 get paid less than I do, and not a single one of them has the load of responsibilities that I have... and 3 of the 4 are entry-level.  One of those 3 entry-level individuals received a 5K bonus back in March that actually took his annual income higher than mine.  Speaking of bonuses... guess who didn't get a raise or a bonus.  Additionally, guess who doesn't get an office at the new facility.  Can someone please explain to me how I'm supposed to do HR related things in a cubicle?  This says to me that I'm HR only in title because BossMan needed someone to give it to.  If he truly respected what I have to deal with on a daily basis he'd give me a room with a door I could shut for privacy.  That, I AM complaining about.  Actually, when I brought it up to him yesterday he laughed at me and said, "Yeah right."  That is what prompted me updating my resume this morning.

I'll write more later.  I still don't feel better... I thought I would.

 Maternity leave is over... I'm back to work.

Here's the deal: I love my job.  My boss is incredible and the company is really taking off.  I was checking my work email from the hospital.  I came into the office for "visits" (a.k.a. meetings) twice while on leave and also created the employee evaluation process and procedure as well as the review form.  I had initially planned on using up every bit of leave I had accrued and not returning to work until the second week in March, but there was so much going on here I offered to return early (2-1/2 weeks early - only 6 weeks after giving birth).  BossMan was thrilled... then he shut down communications. 

When my mother was in town we came in for a visit because I've told her all about BossMan and BossMan knows all about Mama.  We arranged to come in and chat for a bit, but when we got here, BossMan was on the other floor.  Rather than go up and have to deal with everyone I called the receptionist and asked her to let him know we were here.  He took his sweet time, making us wait for 45 minutes... poor receptionist gal called back to apologize and said, "I don't know why he's dragging his ass, he knows you're down there!"  By the time he showed up we got 3 minutes with him before he left for a meeting.  Later that evening I received an email apologizing for the "wierdness" but saying we'd catch up later. 

Since then I've hardly received any correspondence from him at all.  Slowly, my enthusiam and eagerness to return to work started to fade - until it disappeared entirely.  Now, I'm back to work and BossMan is off in another country and the only think I've heard from him is to make the employee review process my priority once I return as it needs to be completed 2 weeks from today.  I'm bitter.  This is at the very least one more week I could have had with Baby and one less week I'd have to pay an obscene amount of money to have her in daycare.  Instead, I'm up to my ears in work and needy people.

On a more pleasant note... here's a pic of Itty holding her new Baby a mere 18 hours after her birth.

Seriously, I really did have every intention of posting "soon."  I suppose that in regards to the frequency of my updating as of late, this could be considered soon.

My doctor reminded me at my last appointment... that I'm awfully close to being full term.  I mean, in all honesty... come 20-December Squirt could bless us with her presence at any time and it'd be entirely legit.  Yeah, Husband has taken to calling her Squirt.  There is actually a 75% chance that we may have a name picked out.  Personally I really like it, and Husband suggested it so I'm hoping he really likes it too.  The thing is, when I asked him, he seemed a bit luke warm.  He's so frackin' high maintenance when it comes to girl names.  He's managed to come up with a whole THREE names.  He's effectively nixed every one I've suggested, and two that he suggested I couldn't stand... so that leaves us with the one.  We'll have to see if it lasts until her birth.

So, I'm insanely busy at work.  We start interviewing for a new admin next week and that will give me the opportunity to move into HR full time.  Right now I'm working on a couple of different company policies and I think BossMan realizes how much I enjoyed doing some of the accounting stuff because he's left it in my hands to negotiate deals with different travel services for the T&E policy (rental car accounts, hotel and airline agreements, travel agents, etc.)  It kinda reminds me of the days, few and far between as though they may have been, that I actually enjoyed that last job.

This entry is turning into an all day activity.  I started when I got into the office, and come back to it when these policies start to make my eyes cross.  I actually received a wonderful surprise for lunch though!  Husband brought Itty... and provided pizza too.  She loves pizza.  Silly little girl.  She walks in and sees me at my desk and runs over to me, gives me a tremendous hug and kiss and tells me, "Mama, I so glad you're here!"  Seriously, that made my day.

There's actually a lot going on... but it's all running rampant through my head and trying to organize my thoughts into a coherent entry is turning into quite a task.  So, ask me what you want to know and I'll try to get to things that way.  Maybe it will make more sense

Soon... I promise.