So, IT is on the ball again and Xanga is blocked from work.  I wrote this on the 26th.  Things have moved along since on several fronts, but I need to keep things in order for my own peace of mind:

It’s been a bit of a sore subject for me for the past few months. Husband returned from his TDY and just decided that it was time for us to make the move. We’d tossed the idea around for years, mentioning it here and there, but never with any timeline in mind. It was a difficult pill for me to swallow at first because I don’t feel as though I’m ready. The background:

I’ve always told Husband that I support him 100% in whatever decisions he makes in regards to his career. Whatever he needed to do I would back him up. We moved to his area because he wanted to work for his current employer… it was his life-long dream. Ups & downs, the good and the bad, we’ve survived it all. Now he’s decided that he’s over it. He’s not happy there anymore and he’s not happy here anymore.

In the meantime I’ve worked very hard in my own career. When I was (unwillingly) put back into HR I made the decision to run with it. I took the bull by the horns and embraced my role. I educated myself and even gained my certification… which is not an easy task in and of itself. As I mentioned, I’m now a member of Sr. Management at my job where what I think actually matters. I have a very accommodating employer that allows me to work remotely and gives me the freedom to do what I feel is best for the company with very few questions asked. This year I initiated 5 new programs/projects, 3 of which have been successfully implemented to date, but I’m still working on rolling out the other 2.

You know when you’ve been at a job and you know in your heart when it is time to move on? When you know that you’ve brought everything you can to the position and the challenges just aren’t challenging anymore? Well, I’m not there yet at this job. I’m not “done” here.

I feel as though Husband has made this decision on behalf of our entire family without taking my feelings or thoughts into consideration. I’ve told him this, and he says he understands where I’m coming from but his actions tell a different story; he keeps on with the planning and the preparations for moving.

That’s not my only concern though… the job market out in Colorado isn’t great. I have family there so I hear about it every day from family members that are experiencing the difficulties. Husband seems to think we’ll go out there and find jobs very quickly just because he sees ads posted. He thinks the only reason we haven’t gotten jobs already is because we’re not physically there. The idea of moving my family right now to an area where we have no home and no jobs is terrifying to me. What if it takes us a year to find a job, like it has my brother?

Anyway, this weekend we were visited by two real estate agents who did walk-throughs on the house. The first went very well and I felt comfortable with her… she seemed very down to earth and easy to work with. The second didn’t go so well; she was very pushy and I walked away from that meeting feeling ganged up on and pressured to sell as quickly as possible.

After she left we were all playing outside and Neighbor Lady comes running over and says to me, “Are you moving? What happened? When? Where are you going?” I don’t even remember what question she asked that struck a chord, but something she asked caused my eyes to well up and I had an extremely difficult time containing my tears. Shortly after Husband took the Itty’s in the house for bath time and I sat out side with NL and basically poured out my soul to her. Apparently Husband didn’t take too kindly to this because I got the silent treatment for the rest of the evening.

Then this morning I asked him when he’s supposed to start at the new job and received a one word answer. I asked him, “So are you giving me the silent treatment? Is that what this is?” He responded, “No, I’m talking to You,” and left for work without another word.

On my way to work I had my Come to Jesus moment. Husband and I have been together for 12 years this year. I have been with my current job 2 years this year. This Colorado issue is quite honestly trying to ruin my marriage. Am I willing to give that up for a job? Absolutely not. Do I see myself celebrating a 50^th wedding anniversary? Of course! Do I see myself at this job until retirement? Most probably not.

I’ve decided to just roll with it. Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe this is supposed to be happening right now and I need to just stop fighting it. MAYBE Husband will find a really good job out in CO and we can afford to have Itty No. 3. All I really know is… I’m not going to let this make me miserable any longer. I love my job, I love my boss, I love my company… but I love Husband more.

So... as we all know the economy isn't so hot right now.  The job market is overwhelmed with applicants and lots of them are extremely high quality making it very much a "buyers/employers market."  I mean, we placed an add back in January during the MegaJobs weekend and just finished up interviewing the Tuesday before last (I hate Tuesdays).  Let me expand on that just a smidgen... looking back at my calendar we interviewed 67 people in 33 business days.  Keep in mind, I work from a different office on Thursday's so I'm not here.  I am going to entertain myself with some of my notes.  I'm sure anyone reading this won't find it half as entertaining as I do, but I don't write for you so get over it 

Day 1: First Interview, 9:00 a.m.

• Appearance: VERY unprofessional, tight/ill fitting clothes - skirt so tight around @$$ that the slit in the back is hanging on for dear life not to just let loose the rest of the way up... NOT in a good way
• Considers herself a "clean-up" lady... going in behind everyone else and fixing their mistakes = interpretation, okay with being an office b!tc#
• Once called a customer a jack-ass = interpretation, she'd never get along with loan officers
• Loves working with people and interacting directly with as many people as possible = interpretation, social butterfly - would probably spend the first 45 minutes of each day chatting it up
• Looking for job security = interpretation, she's unhappy at her current job and thinks that's a safe answer... we're a mortgage company
• Not recommended for hire

Day 16: First Interview, 9:30 a.m.

• Appearance: Arms crossed and scowling when I walked in - she arrived 35 minutes early for her interview and I made her wait 40 before I went in.  I hate it when people are obscenly early to an interview. 
• Very difficult to understand, she's missing 3-of her front teeth (2 on top, 1 on bottom)
• Tide-Pen commercial... talking stain... she has a talking hairy mole on her chin... very distracting
• Currently a receptionist, hasn't done this particular job for 7 years
• Works well with difficult sales workers
• Will find a way to get the job done
• Recommendation; She has the right attitude... Rate her a B+, maybe if she gets the job she can get some teeth, we have great insurance

Day 16: Third Interview, 3:00 p.m.

• Appearance: Very clean, crisp, professional (reminds me just a tad of Grandma)
• Wants to get back into the industry
• Talker - a lot of personal stories
• Willing and able to do any job we ask her to do, other than underwrite
• Keeps TALKING!
• Considers herself knowledgable, also sociable and nice (won't let me get a word in)
• Pointless banter
• More personal stores
• Recommendation; Length of interview?  1 HOUR 45 MINUTES!  Number of words out of my mouth?  23... Number of times she interrupted me so she could keep talking?  4... NO WAY should we even consider hiring this woman, none of us would ever get any work done.

Day 27: Second Interview, 2:00 p.m.

• Appearance: West Virginia
• Didn't realize she was applying for this position, thought it was a receptionist position (didn't she read the ad?)
• Average number of loans in pipeline each month?  She actually answered: "6+6+3+2+2+1... about 11 or so"
• Talks a lot about God... but then says she's been known to have personnel issues; i.e. "I pray a lot and try to keep calm... you know, just let it go and let Him take care of it," then later, "Well I know I've had attitude issues and I have a short temper, but I'm working on that.  I do know I tend to get real bitchy sometimes."
• Not recommended for hire

Day 33: Very Last Interview, Thank You Baby Jesus, 3:30 p.m.

• Appearance: Very very sharp.  Nice suit, pressed shirt, coordinating tie... his wife dressed him
• Extremely nervous, keeps fidgeting and shifting his focus around the room
• Worked his way up from entry level to current level over several years, could pitch in anywhere along the process to help where needed
• Asked for a situation where he turned a negative situation to a positive and he totally threw LO under bus w/borrower.  Saved the loan though.
• Seems to think very highly of himself
• Told him it was okay if he relaxed a bit... he kicked back and threw his feet up on the conference table
• "Big on ethics and overall fairness"
• Personal thoughts: My gut is telling me to stay away... this candidate = personnel conflicts
• (not my note... but hiring manager offered him a job anyway... he flaked out and never returned the calls)

Actually, that's a big fat lie.  He was here bright an early but he's too busy doing other things to worry about the HR Lady violating company policy.  I should make them unblock Xanga for me permanently... I think I'd be able to remain more sane if I were to be able to let it out.

So anyway, still at the mortgage company... for now.  Husband has decided that it's time we move back to Colorado.  He got shipped out to Afghanistan for 3-months late last year and after he returned he had made up his mind.  He's done with it here in NoVA.  He's quitting his current "I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you" job and taking a different one with a different government agency.  It's kinda nice for him because he had two divisions within the same agency fighting over him trying to woo him in.  He took the lesser paying job for more future possibilities/mobility (including the possibility of relocating to CO) and flat out interest.

What it means for us right now though... no trying for Itty No. 3.  I have baby fever again so that's depressing.  Here I am in my 30's and I don't feel as though I'm where I wanted to be.  Of course, on the flip side of that, I never could have imagined my life as it is today; maybe I didn't have enough confidence in myself when I was younger.

I will say that over the last 3 years my career totally did a 180 and now I'm a member of Sr. Management at a company where my opinion actually counts for something.  After all those years of working with what's-his-name that took some getting used to for me.  I will say though, the path I have taken to get to where I am has had everything to do with my success.  It's also made me an a-typical HR lady... because I know what it's like to be on the other end when the nasty wench(es) aren't handling things the way they're supposed to.

There's really a ton of things racing through my mind right now... but I've been blocked for so long I don't even know where to begin.  I think I'll have to try and ease back into it (until I get discovered anyway).