Life doesn't seem to slow down long enough for me to do much for myself anymore.  I miss my Xanga.  I miss reading what's going on in your lives and I miss expressing what's going on in mine.  I hardly have time for a social life any more and my friends have slowly stopped calling to check up on me because I never call them... and who can blame them?  Someone I consider a very good friend is pregnant and expecting.  I talked to her last back in February I guess... she was supposed to be finding out if her baby was a boy or a girl back then.  I think now, she's nearing the end of her term!  I never did talk to her again to find out if it was a boy or girl, though I think about her often during the day.  Not to mention my cousin has moved to town... they're pregnant as well with their third child (first boy).  We went to their house for Memorial Day, but hadn't seen them since early March... and they only live 20 minutes away!

Things with work have never truly gotten back on track.  I keep getting responsibilities thrown my way and it's a steady stream of critical projects.  First it was evaluations, then it was salary increases and bonuses, then it was open enrollment and renegotiating all of our insurance plans.  Now, I've been named the Chair of the move committee because our office is moving in 6 weeks (this morning I decided on flooring and paint).  So, while coordinating the entire office move and getting quotes, deciding on interiors and managing all procurement activities, I'm still expected to do my every-day job and be here to deal with all my HR related issues.  Not to mention the fact that the company is currently going through a re-fi and who has just been put in the lead of preparing the due diligence binders?  Yours truly.  I have a white board in my office that is literally FILLED with to-do items: half of which are starred as priorities.

I'm not really complaining about it - I'm just being brutally honest.  As much as I love my job, I don't know if I can stick it out.  It's taking a toll on me mentally and physically and damn near financially.  My mind races constantly about everything I have going on at once.  I've gotten to the point that I have trouble sleeping at night because I can't slow my thought process down enough to relax.  I'm constantly in fear that I'm going to miss doing an important task and go through the activities for the next day even in my sleep.  I'm physically exhausted when I go home anymore from stress and that's simply compounded by the lack of sleep.  Then, I finally took the time to go home and visit my folks with the girls... and while out there my company maxed out my credit card booking travel to it.  It took an entire afternoon to get straightened out.

Of all the employees in this company, only 4 get paid less than I do, and not a single one of them has the load of responsibilities that I have... and 3 of the 4 are entry-level.  One of those 3 entry-level individuals received a 5K bonus back in March that actually took his annual income higher than mine.  Speaking of bonuses... guess who didn't get a raise or a bonus.  Additionally, guess who doesn't get an office at the new facility.  Can someone please explain to me how I'm supposed to do HR related things in a cubicle?  This says to me that I'm HR only in title because BossMan needed someone to give it to.  If he truly respected what I have to deal with on a daily basis he'd give me a room with a door I could shut for privacy.  That, I AM complaining about.  Actually, when I brought it up to him yesterday he laughed at me and said, "Yeah right."  That is what prompted me updating my resume this morning.

I'll write more later.  I still don't feel better... I thought I would.